A Land of My Own

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There’s a small garden area right outside near my office. Over the past 10 months that I’ve worked there, it’s become my safe haven in a way. When I’ve had breakdowns, I would walk outside and call my mom; the trees and rocks were peaceful and calming. It somehow helped me forget about the stack of work that was waiting for me inside. I’ve eaten lunch out there, by myself and with friends. I’ve had a chance to sit, ponder, dream, and imagine whatever I wanted. My own little piece of heaven.

In a way, I feel like Anne of Green Gables, as I’d sit in that garden. It was my place to escape. A world that felt like it was just mine, even though students will pass through after class ends or faculty members will step outside to make phone calls. It still feels like it’s mine.

Tomorrow, I’m moving to another area on campus, and it hit me that I’m leaving this particular section behind. I’m going to miss these moments, this secluded place. It’s all I’ve ever known. Maybe in my new little corner of the world, I’ll find another piece of heaven. Or maybe I’ll just find my way back to this one. I’m not sure. But, I think we all deserve places like that.

“There is such a place as fairyland – but only children can find the way to it. And they do not know that it is fairyland until they have grown so old that they forget the way. One bitter day, when they seek it and cannot find it, they realize what they have lost; and that is the tragedy of life. On that day the gates of Eden are shut behind them and the age of gold is over. Henceforth they must dwell in the common light of common day. Only a few, who remain children at heart, can ever find that fair, lost path again; and blessed are they above mortals. They, and only they, can bring us tidings from that dear country where we once sojourned and from which we must evermore be exiles. The world calls them its singers and poets and artists and story-tellers; but they are just people who have never forgotten the way to fairyland.”

***

“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive–it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?But am I talking too much? People are always telling me I do. Would you rather I didn’t talk? If you say so I’ll stop. I can STOP when I make up my mind to it, although it’s difficult.”

~L.M. Montgomery~ (Anne of Green Gables series)

Moving on is a lot harder than letting go…That’s a phrase that has been sticking with me lately. Over the past year-and-a-half, I’ve experienced more change in my life than I ever have before. It’s one thing to be excited about a new phase, a new goal, a new dream. But, how do you move on from what you’re leaving behind?

Most of this morning, I emptied out my drawers and went through old notes and articles I’d written down. So much has happened in just under a year. Where has the time gone? I suddenly felt like a stranger as I read old email conversations and press release drafts. I’m only moving to another department on campus, nothing else is changing. My role is the same, my duties are the same. But, I can’t help but feel nostalgic. It also didn’t help that I was listening to Celine Dion, so I was very emotional. This office, these people…No matter how crazy things have gotten, each one of them has helped me get to this point. They’re people I call friends now. I know this isn’t forever, but nonetheless, it’s more change. If you know me at all, you know I hate change. So, this will be an adjustment.

That’s all for now,

Shelby

 

 

 

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